Your environmental challenge is as you wake up either in the morning or in the evening depending on your personal routine, go to kitchen and grab a cup of sweet milk tea to stimulate your inside and go to bathroom and shit for 10 or 30 minutes (Gandhi would shit for two 20 minutes a day!) depending on your need but make sure you take it out to the most you can. You don’t need to leave rotten cheese inside you while you can remove it out of your system completely. Open the bath room windows to let in fresh air and also to get rid of the stink from the bathroom.
Before you sit on the toilet seat, make sure you clean it with hot damp paper towel. Wipe it dry with dry paper towel. If you shit 10 times in a sitting, flush 10 times. Flush once after every shitting to reduce the stink and to leave no stains and also to avoid clogging. Don’t sit there shitting for 30 minutes and then you flush once and now you cause clogging and flooding. Clean up the mess now without whining because it’s your fault.
Simultaneously, fill up your bucket with warm water and use the jug to pour warm water on your ass from behind to help you come out easily if you have any level of constipation.
After you are done shitting, wash your ass off with warm water in Indian style or you can use a hand held deep ass shower and wash your ass off thoroughly including your balls or pussy to your heart’s content without you having to touch your shit if this is what you hate so much to do. But nothing cleans like water. And if you add some soap, it’s wow!
Washing your ass deep and the genitals thoroughly prevents UTI (urinary tract infection). UTI is caused by shit bacteria entering your vagina or penis and through sex. It can be taken care of easily by drinking cranberry juice once a day but if left untreated for long can turn cancer and then it’s too late to moan and bitch. The bacteria eats up the bladder and then the kidneys.
Cranberry is poison to the bacteria. Drink plenty of water and pee whenever you need to. Not drinking enough water over a long period of time dries up the kidneys, and holding pee like many cab drivers do cause kidney failure. That aside.
Then wipe your ass dry with paper towel so as to avoid wet ass, fungus and itching later on. Do not use toilet paper to wipe your ass dry because they break easily and get messy.
Go to the sink and wash your hands with soap 3 times, to get rid of germs and viruses.
Now floss your teeth for 1 minute. Rinse your mouth off the blood.
Brush your teeth for 3 minutes with tooth paste.
Clean your tongue red of all the food stuff with a metal tongue cleaner or just clean your tongue with a tooth brush. You can do it. It’s easy with a little practice. After you made sure all the food stuff on your tongue are removed from the whole length of the tongue and that your tongue is red clean, rinse your mouth 10 times.
Now go and take your shower and be done in 10 minutes. Apply soap and rinse off. Military style. Shower every day.
Every time you are done using bathroom, make sure you wipe the sink and toilet seat dry with paper towel and mop the floor dry.
Rinse your hands off with soap every time you are done with peeing.
Change your underwear, socks, tank top every day after shower.
Clip your nails of hands and feet once every 10 days.
Never pick your nose in public! It’s disgusting as fuck. Blow your nose off in the shower or in the bath room sink.
Never spit in public or during meal times. Like the Chinese, Tibetans are so bad at it. Look at the walls in Majnu-ka-tilla in Delhi where a Tibetan ghetto sits. Just do it in a bathroom. And in privacy. Please.
Never belch during meal times. We are not Arabs. Never fart in public unless you have a medical reason. Do it if you have to when nobody is around in the open outdoors. No one appreciates it. Everyone sniffs his or her own fart several times a day and it is not a problem, it is scientifically proven, but when others do it you can’t stand it. That is biological bias and an irony too. Because all shit and fart smell bad. But life is an irony and that’s what keeps the world going.
Never dig your ear in public. Do everything in total privacy, preferably in a bathroom.
Never pick your teeth in public. Never talk about blood, shit, pus during meal times.
Never slurp while having your noodle soup or tea. Never scratch your body in public. It’s unappealing.
Rinse your mouth thoroughly in a bathroom every time you are done with your meals. This is ancient wisdom from India, our spiritual guru. Now is the time to spit the sputum out of your throat and lungs. But in bathroom.
Wash your hands off with soap before and after you cook. Rinse your hands off every time you touch something in kitchen.
According to American Doctors Association, 90% of the stomach upset is caused by shit (whether it’s yours or others mean same thing) entering your mouth by some means. So, while in bed don’t finger your ass and don’t try to sniff the naughty finger!
90% of bad breath is caused by an unclean tongue. Clean it now. With clean tongue, kiss gets tastier!
The above practice is not excessive nor cause harm to the environment but beneficial for self and the environment at large.
P.S. This post was first published in March 2011